We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
