A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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