I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
