my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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