Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i out mim tonsoeep
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
