Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
After last night, I could never be a politician.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Help. Why am I so naked?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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