I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
