Those balls look pretty dangerous.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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