Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
