mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
