i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
