fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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