No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
