conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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