He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
