He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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