they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
