If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
