I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
