Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
