i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
