Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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