Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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