Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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