If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
