What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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