I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
