it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
