Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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