found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
