White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
