I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
