I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
