Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
