1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
