He is such a slut. More and more my type.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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