its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
