i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
