I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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