You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
