we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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