apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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