Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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