If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
