Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
