Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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