bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize