you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
