oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I feel great
I just peed on a car
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
cat food counts as protein by the way
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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