Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
